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V. HVN

from butterflies by STATEN

/

lyrics

Stopped the drinking
which stopped the fucking
from meds I've been sucking in.
Saturation on left side
walking out
on the day like
where the hell have you been?
I haven't talked to anybody in a long time
Been stuck with nikko
in his basement working all night.
Ain't seen my brothers
since the end of July
but I kinda like it that way.

Working for a cult
so I can give them more
than they deserve.
My time my time
my time is spent upon a sales floor.
Still sleep inside
the bed I laid with her
Nothing's fucking changed.

It's coming back up
and back up and back up again.

Started lifting
which stopped the biting
which stopped the writing
killed my soul.
Find it easy
go days without eating
everybody says it's so simple.
I haven't liked myself in a god damn long time
I'm in my room or in my doctor's
fuck, they're both white
and it kills my soul.

I've been hurting ever since I came home.
The lines I wrote.
And I knew I was in trouble
since my plane took off in Newark
and it landed in Orlando
International, a battle
between mind and body
bodies of a girl.
They sent me letters the same book
Southern neighbors beautiful
southern angels took my soul
wrote on pages but I choked
and I threw them in the trash
when my manager would look
and he'd mention how I never belonged
they said maybe I should stick to writing songs.
So I called an ambulance
just so I can have the chance
for a grand exclusive ride
through the city that took my eyes.
Hit my lungs, couldn't breathe
couldn't drink, I couldn't eat.
Found new love in a xan
chase it with some daniel jack
proper when I call a friend
and I needed them the most
but nobody stops their life
even when you're losing hope
And when nothing feels right
but the sound of distant
cars and a heavenly light
voices call your name to stars
And you listen and you smile
know your life has been worthwhile
so you leave it all behind
just for that eternal silence.

credits

from butterflies, released December 29, 2017

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STATEN Rahway, New Jersey

ambient dream

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