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lyrics

Hold on, the pills are all aligned
and I’m not finished yet.
I just want your love
but caught your silhouette
and even then I let it go.
Oh god, ain’t no god fearin
he don’t hear me,
my bedroom’s not that far
from where he’s staying
but even then we’re not that close.

Hold on, why am I trying so hard to impress you?
Pick apart the pieces of myself for you;
fall apart till nothing’s left
but my bones and chosen flesh
drowsy fuck right off my meds I
write words on a white page
right words at the right place.
Give a fuck about how I changed,
never paid no mind to the hive craze
no eyesay
God damn what the fuck am I saying?
But a god ain’t so damn sane.
God damn would you like what I’ve done?
We ain’t really even in the same lane

They don’t want that soft shit
Put the Saint in coffins
Never got my solace
but I’m moving on and on and
never looking back
I’m never looking
never looking.


Losing all the mileage
mouth is feeling quiet
and my guess is nothing makes sense
and I sometimes forget
what my name is
when I’m not the center of attentions
hit me on my mentions
catch me on a solo
find me on the front row
singing Halogens while I’m balancing
couple pills in my stomach with a pile of gin
clutching on my mic like a javelin
split your band in half have you babbling
why bother battling?

God, are you kind?
Forgive me for everything
I’ve done in my life.
My motives follow
prophets who are strong but so blind.
I was so afraid when you were gone
when I tried to call you in the night.

(Silent after
losing battles.
At least I’m trying,
what comes after nothing?)

credits

from the unbroken spirit of myself, released February 28, 2017

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STATEN Rahway, New Jersey

ambient dream

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