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butterflies

by STATEN

/
1.
I. QUEENS 02:27
Pass out playing Zelda in my room Construction on my street cant even move Saw my city underwater in the news Glad I got to see you, glad I got to know you. And my best friend just broke up with her boyfriend. Long time coming but she's lonely in the silence lonely in the nighttime, pushing pulling iron just to get my mind off catching butterflies. My ceiling looking high, patterns memorized delaying my demise for some peace of mind. At least I'm writing again resurrect this Saint Spirit come , Amen Met him once and now my label moved to Queens no more letters to myself posters, pictures, magazines, sick of playing catch up with my dreams stopped doing it for me traded lyrics for the green but they ain't happy unless issa salary. Lexapro ain't kicking in but I've been eating again catching butterflies Post graduation blues at least I like that color Working for a cult just to grab some bread and butter for my mother and my father tryna please them it gets harder when the piece of paper follows a blank mantra
2.
II. DRY 03:18
My eyes been dry since February almost blind from scratching, itching burning sanctuary my room the color of my face when she left me buried pulse I'm checking, heart in tact but did my feelings dirty. 7 years until I'm pushing 30 girls in their lightly colored dresses looking really perty fiend, she could have a ring, I'd still be fucking flirtin with a natural blonde with wavy hair but catch me surfin Fucked up, yeah everybody gotta talk. Backrooms, ghost on, when they closing shop. Fucked up, why don't you shut the fuck up? Do us all a favor please shut the fuck up. Kissing in my walk-in closet flowers in your straight hair poppin Wanna trace Orlando just by walking or is it too much to ask what's your problem? You've been silent, you've been quiet you've been calling out of work. You've been staring at the pavement longer than you really should. Do I have to drive you to a doctor? Did you call your mom? Baggage baggage baggage baggage mad mad hatter am I alice? Cheshire killer kitty Cali Comma, Kelly, karma come and get me Oh my love don't need to know like my head we keep it low clothes and feelings on the floor. I wish you should I wish I could I wish I could be more for you. Baggage claimed in Newark eyes MCO did take my soul I check my bank account is low even though I work in cults Father said it's time to go my doctor plead on Lexapro prescription pissing more than usual yellow on my toilet bowl Hard drive died, files on the cloud sittin straight don't slouch sleeping on my couch flow so hard like flour flowers on my bed kisses on my crown thorns cant touch me now. Jesus come and go when my hands are fold.
3.
III. CHATHAM 01:32
4.
IV. NAVI 01:30
What's the matter babe? What's your problem baby? Our tongues are yours for tasting our lips are yours for taking pray for the holy grail pray for your soul saving What's the matter babe? we live in bubbles love another perfect harmony Flower petals, blooming summer, blushing rosy cheeks Imagination never needed between you and me Cant hide from the fact that you lovesick cant hide from the fact that you love lust what love doesnt cost like a lump sum 4 girls but u cant get enough huh Gemini got a cop everything twice gemini got a cop everything nice gold chain, new whips tight. new lips I dont give a fuck what you feel right now give me that \ i'll put it right down make you feel good make you feel worthwhile put your eyes in my head if you feel like dying. Damn jus what a fuckin saint you really are damn jus what the fuck you on Golden boy, god is dead, golden sun and it's set butteflies we trying to catch butteflies if U forget you dont need to love me jus to fuck me I dont care lose my head I'm sitting bet my soul i'm bidding dance with devils demons hades is my fucking ceiling
5.
V. HVN 03:59
Stopped the drinking which stopped the fucking from meds I've been sucking in. Saturation on left side walking out on the day like where the hell have you been? I haven't talked to anybody in a long time Been stuck with nikko in his basement working all night. Ain't seen my brothers since the end of July but I kinda like it that way. Working for a cult so I can give them more than they deserve. My time my time my time is spent upon a sales floor. Still sleep inside the bed I laid with her Nothing's fucking changed. It's coming back up and back up and back up again. Started lifting which stopped the biting which stopped the writing killed my soul. Find it easy go days without eating everybody says it's so simple. I haven't liked myself in a god damn long time I'm in my room or in my doctor's fuck, they're both white and it kills my soul. I've been hurting ever since I came home. The lines I wrote. And I knew I was in trouble since my plane took off in Newark and it landed in Orlando International, a battle between mind and body bodies of a girl. They sent me letters the same book Southern neighbors beautiful southern angels took my soul wrote on pages but I choked and I threw them in the trash when my manager would look and he'd mention how I never belonged they said maybe I should stick to writing songs. So I called an ambulance just so I can have the chance for a grand exclusive ride through the city that took my eyes. Hit my lungs, couldn't breathe couldn't drink, I couldn't eat. Found new love in a xan chase it with some daniel jack proper when I call a friend and I needed them the most but nobody stops their life even when you're losing hope And when nothing feels right but the sound of distant cars and a heavenly light voices call your name to stars And you listen and you smile know your life has been worthwhile so you leave it all behind just for that eternal silence.

about

recorded by justin staten
mixed and mastered by lucas smith

credits

released December 29, 2017

Why Bother Records
Karl Fernandez & Christina Hernandez on IV.

Thanks to all the old boys & girls i used to fuck with

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STATEN Rahway, New Jersey

noises from my room

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